—Obviously, on a sane planet, [Liza Minnelli] would be kept in a cage and people would pay a small amount—no more than a quarter—to poke her with a stick. Yet here on Earth, she’s a big star. Why, you ask, and rightly so? I’ll tell you why. Because her mother, who always looked like she was two seconds from jumping off a high ledge, knew an incredible secret–a secret so dark and twisted that it has never been spoken aloud—a secret any Rosicrucian would give his left nut to possess—forbidden knowledge older than the pyramids unveiled here for the first time—a secret guarded by the rich and powerful for centuries yet I reveal it to you for the price of a rock’n’roll magazine—a dreadful secret that Judy, lying on her death bed, with seconds to live, leaned over and whispered into her daughter’s ear:
“The person in the most pain wins.”
Daaaaaaaamn.
Via.
